This is not a Comeback.

This is not a comeback... Comebacks are for Lance Armstrong, Michael Jordan, and Bell Bottom Jeans.



On April 6Th. my older brother, Dennis, passed away. Heart Attack. 41. Husband, Son, Father of two children, and my Brother. There are no words to describe how much I love Him and how much I miss Him. In this, I am not alone.



Today at 3:30 P.M. I found myself in my cardiologists office anxiously awaiting the results of my Cardiac Computed Tomography Angiography. A radioactive contrast die accompanied by a 64 slice CT scan. Along with a Calcium Score Test. In short by 5:30 P.M. today I was already scheduled for a Heart Catheterization on Friday @ 6:30 A.M. Calcium score zero, yet blockages still present? With the heart cath they would have went right in there, and as needed put in stents. This would have meant taking Plavix for life. Not good if you happen to crash a bike or something... I left the Cardiologists with an appointment for Friday @ St. Peters Hospital and an arm full of pamphlets, instructions, and new prescriptions. A nauseating mix of emotions swirling inside my head. I missed Dennis more now than ever. At 7 P.M. My Cardiologist called me back and explained that he wants whats best for me and had been thinking about my case since I left. So much so, that he reviewed it with a few of his peers at the practice. He's decided to go with a Nuclear stress test first, he really doesn't want to see me on the Plavix for the rest of my life. Now there are some blockages which he referred to as a congenital defect that need to be determined just how bad they really are. I can't express how grateful I am to this man as he truly cares about my health and about the quality of life I desire to live. He's professional, and compassionate. I TRUST him. So tomorrow we will schedule the nuclear stress test and I want it A.S.A.P.! It is not something I can score perfect on ( Like an A+, there are some blockages there, especially on the LAD, the one that probably did my Brother in...) but as you can imagine , I sure would like to do as well as possible. If this fails it's in for the heart cath and a much higher chance of stents. Not so good...



But the day may come when you got something to lose /And just when you think you're done paying dues / You say to yourself "Dear, God What have I Done?"/ And hope it's not to late cause tomorrow may never come / REACH FOR THE SKY cause tomorrow may never come...

- Social Distortion



Maybe this might sound selfish, maybe even ludicrous... If you've never competed in an athletic event, never pushed yourself so hard you thought you may pass out, HR PEGGED @ 196. Then you probably wouldn't understand it at all. But if you have? I just want to ride my bike. HARD. FAST. I want to out sprint a friend. I want to drop someone on a climb. I want to lose 20 lbs. I want my Brother back, even if only for a moment, so I could tell Him I love Him one last time.



This is not a comeback... This is MY LIFE.



LIVESTRONG